I have found myself reminiscing (really? Is that how you spell it?) a ton lately, as I started my Level II fieldwork exactly a year ago. I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach. I remember my ankle that was humungously (if that's a word) swollen on my first day of fieldwork due to a bunch of mosquito bites and my limping around the hospital.
A year later, there are two patients that I still think about on a daily basis. Like... every day. When I worked with them, I figured they'd have a lifelong impact on me, but I never knew it would be like this. And to think I give my mom a hard time for how attached she gets to people.
Life is still good. I have moments of elation and marveling in my charmed life, and movements where I feel discouraged and want to bake cakes for a living.
I'll try to not make this a terribly long post, so here's a snap shot of my life in MN. In no particular order.
-Walks by the lake -Farmers Markets -Friday afternoon naps -New laptop
-Joined an ASL group -Became a Wish Granter through Make a Wish -Getting to exchange work stories w/ former classmates
-Learning. A lot. -Frequent Trader Joe's visits -Still obsessed with free stuff and events -Cheap theater tickets -Outdoor yoga -Hanging out with friends -Excitedly planning my Mom's visit in July -Trying new restaurants, going to favorite restaurants -Still loving my apartment -Church -Evening walks -Morning workouts -Sunday dinners with my "Surrogate" family -Baking for my co-workers -Continuing Education -Exploring new neighborhoods -Official MN driver's license!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Don't Cramp My Style
This is a post for all the single ladies (Hi, Stacey! ;-)). Days like today, I can fully appreciate the freedom and independence of being a single woman. Not only do boys have cooties, one would totally cramp my style.
This is actually a series of several blogs that have been running through my head. If only Blogger could just read my mind, I would update this thing faster than you could keep up with!
PART I
The first instillation of this blog was mentally composed last Saturday. It's entitled, "How to Get Fat and Happy on $6 a day" (take that, Rachael Ray!)
*Attend monthly apartment breakfast. Mingle with fellow residents and enjoy variety of breakfast foods. Stash pockets full of creamer, sugar packets, and Donettes (just kidding. I'm still trying to impress these people. I wouldn't do that ... yet.) Finally meet neighbor, who turns out to be slightly eccentric. Endure aforementioned neighbor trying to set you up with every individual with testerone in room. Casually distance yourself from neighbor, join conversation of fellow, single female residents. Get bold enough to exchange phone numbers with one, which feels strangely like asking a guy out on a date ("Am I coming on too strong?!"). Make new friend, 2 points! Cost: Free! [Side note -- this new friend and I went to see "Something Borrowed" last night, which I'd highly recommend!]
*Bask in sunshine and explore new neighborhood (in which you decide you will live in vicariously, hoping they don't check local addresses when accepting Facebook Friend Requests or check ID upon entrance to community events). Visit bakery and get free sample of bread and use coupon for free loaf of bread for joining bakery's online newsletter. Pay full price for muffin and cookie (One's for a friend ... Seriously!). $3 total. A bargain and carbohydrates (whole grain, no less!) = wonderfulness.
*"Splurge" on $3 iced latte at nearby coffee shop. Sit in coffee shop and study driver's manual for new MN license, which provides hours of "entertainment."
*Continue roaming around neighborhood, window shopping, and not spending another dime.
*Attend your *real* neighborhood's Spring Awakening block party. Sample chocolates in fancy jewelry shop (don't let all of the women hanging off their S.O.'s arms, drooling over diamonds get to you. If it does, go to another display and eat another chocolate). Next door, sample endless varieties of olive oils and vinegars, making little comments like, "Oh yes, I'll definitely have to come back and buy some gifts here!" to avoid moocher-status.
The ironic conclusion to this blog was going to be spending $10.50 for a MATINEE showing of "Water for Elephants." ($10.50... can you believe it?!). However, the advantage of being so behind in your blogging is that I can now add the inspiring epilogue: Notice audio dubbing is slightly off during movie and note weird "bursts" of sound in audio. Send e-mail to theater explaining your experience... score 3 free movie passes for providing them with "much appreciated" feedback. Squeaky Wheel WIIIIIIIIINS!
*Sunday: Attend surrogate family's Mother's Day brunch. Stuff your face. Laugh. Feel family-ish. Cost: Free!
*Attend professional play for $2 (job perk at Courage Center! Don't have to ask me twice). Realize irony of paying $2 for ticket and $6 for parking ramp. Try not to dwell on that and enjoy the fact that you had a "night on the town" for 8 buckaroos, a fine wrap-up to a thrifty weekend!
PART II:
The Old Me, The New Me
The Old Me:
…Heard a clap of thunder and identified her nearest tornado shelter.
…Hallucinated tornado sirens when weather seemed severe.
…Figured she would die at Methodist Hospital, trapped on the 7th floor, when there was a tornado watch.
The new me:
…Hears a tornado warning for St. Louis Park… continues shopping at Trader Joe’s.
…Thinks Trader Joes would be a wonderful place to endure a tornado as they announce on the intercom that shoppers are welcome to stay in the building as long as needed.
…Wonders if she huddled with the employees at the back of the store if they would charge her for her frozen chicken breasts if they thawed out while she waited out the storm. …and would they feed us lots of samples and figure they might as well dispose of all the perishable foods?!
…Gets upset when she wonders if this inclement weather will interfere with her much anticipated pit stop for a DQ Blizzard.
…Completes her Trader Joes transaction, wondering if she should run back and get a pint of ice cream as a back-up supply. … Heaven forbid she ended up back in her apartment with NO ice cream because of some stupid storm.
…Waits inside Trader Joe’s lobby until golf-ball sized hail stops.
…Decides that being swept up in a tornado with a chocolate-y Blizzard would be so worth it. … Resists the urge to upgrade to an extra large, just in case it would be the last Blizzard.
Minnesota has so much more to offer than Jell-o salads and hot dishes!
Part III:
And finally, here's the true "Don't Cramp My Style" post.
I had the most lovely day today, fully embracing my independence. My day started with a free, 1 hour session of yoga in the park in the new neighborhood I "adopted" after discovering last weekend. The yoga instructor was excellent, the weather was coolish but sunny and MUCH improved from yesterday's cold and rain. It was a wonderful feeling to have the sun beating down on me as I did Sun Salutations!
The neighborhood was having a "festival" today, so afterwards I just walked around, exploring the festivities, smiling at all the cute kids and their families (and trying not to look too creepy smiling at the kids). I stumbled upon a library used book sale, where I found 2 novels and a "Fix it and Forget it" cookbook for $3!
After that, I went on a long, long walk through the neighborhoods, down to the beautiful Lake Harriet, and then to another little shopping district where I browsed through the Food Co-Op. I walked back down to the festival where I got a free 5 minute chair massage.
Next, I went to a local, homemade ice cream shop and treated myself to an indulgent, ultra-chocolate scoop of ice cream, which, of course, I got to eat outside in the sun/cool breeze.
I literally walked around the neighborhood with a smile on my face. It is such a beautiful day and it was so much fun exploring the neighborhood. This morning the yoga instructor made a comment about feeling the uneven-ness of the ground beneath our yoga mats and embracing this uneven-ness. She talked about how we are so used to expecting perfection of ourselves and in our lives, but that this "uneven-ness" (imperfection) in our own lives is what makes us appreciative and compassionate. I have been feeling very inadequate when it comes to work, which has caused me a lot of stress, anxiety, and frustration, so this really hit home for me. It's hard not knowing everything (or much of anything!), and it's hard accepting that that is okay. My goal in the coming weeks is to embrace my "uneven-ness" and focus on the positive aspects of experiencing those imperfections.
So there's my philosophical ending to this suuuuper long post. I am now going to walk BACK to Trader Joes (even though I was there an hour ago) because I forgot the lemon for my Banana Cake, whch I'm bringing to work tomorrow. Then maybe I'll go sit and read by the pool. Ahhhhh, weekends! :-)
This is actually a series of several blogs that have been running through my head. If only Blogger could just read my mind, I would update this thing faster than you could keep up with!
PART I
The first instillation of this blog was mentally composed last Saturday. It's entitled, "How to Get Fat and Happy on $6 a day" (take that, Rachael Ray!)
*Attend monthly apartment breakfast. Mingle with fellow residents and enjoy variety of breakfast foods. Stash pockets full of creamer, sugar packets, and Donettes (just kidding. I'm still trying to impress these people. I wouldn't do that ... yet.) Finally meet neighbor, who turns out to be slightly eccentric. Endure aforementioned neighbor trying to set you up with every individual with testerone in room. Casually distance yourself from neighbor, join conversation of fellow, single female residents. Get bold enough to exchange phone numbers with one, which feels strangely like asking a guy out on a date ("Am I coming on too strong?!"). Make new friend, 2 points! Cost: Free! [Side note -- this new friend and I went to see "Something Borrowed" last night, which I'd highly recommend!]
*Bask in sunshine and explore new neighborhood (in which you decide you will live in vicariously, hoping they don't check local addresses when accepting Facebook Friend Requests or check ID upon entrance to community events). Visit bakery and get free sample of bread and use coupon for free loaf of bread for joining bakery's online newsletter. Pay full price for muffin and cookie (One's for a friend ... Seriously!). $3 total. A bargain and carbohydrates (whole grain, no less!) = wonderfulness.
*"Splurge" on $3 iced latte at nearby coffee shop. Sit in coffee shop and study driver's manual for new MN license, which provides hours of "entertainment."
*Continue roaming around neighborhood, window shopping, and not spending another dime.
*Attend your *real* neighborhood's Spring Awakening block party. Sample chocolates in fancy jewelry shop (don't let all of the women hanging off their S.O.'s arms, drooling over diamonds get to you. If it does, go to another display and eat another chocolate). Next door, sample endless varieties of olive oils and vinegars, making little comments like, "Oh yes, I'll definitely have to come back and buy some gifts here!" to avoid moocher-status.
The ironic conclusion to this blog was going to be spending $10.50 for a MATINEE showing of "Water for Elephants." ($10.50... can you believe it?!). However, the advantage of being so behind in your blogging is that I can now add the inspiring epilogue: Notice audio dubbing is slightly off during movie and note weird "bursts" of sound in audio. Send e-mail to theater explaining your experience... score 3 free movie passes for providing them with "much appreciated" feedback. Squeaky Wheel WIIIIIIIIINS!
*Sunday: Attend surrogate family's Mother's Day brunch. Stuff your face. Laugh. Feel family-ish. Cost: Free!
*Attend professional play for $2 (job perk at Courage Center! Don't have to ask me twice). Realize irony of paying $2 for ticket and $6 for parking ramp. Try not to dwell on that and enjoy the fact that you had a "night on the town" for 8 buckaroos, a fine wrap-up to a thrifty weekend!
PART II:
The Old Me, The New Me
The Old Me:
…Heard a clap of thunder and identified her nearest tornado shelter.
…Hallucinated tornado sirens when weather seemed severe.
…Figured she would die at Methodist Hospital, trapped on the 7th floor, when there was a tornado watch.
The new me:
…Hears a tornado warning for St. Louis Park… continues shopping at Trader Joe’s.
…Thinks Trader Joes would be a wonderful place to endure a tornado as they announce on the intercom that shoppers are welcome to stay in the building as long as needed.
…Wonders if she huddled with the employees at the back of the store if they would charge her for her frozen chicken breasts if they thawed out while she waited out the storm. …and would they feed us lots of samples and figure they might as well dispose of all the perishable foods?!
…Gets upset when she wonders if this inclement weather will interfere with her much anticipated pit stop for a DQ Blizzard.
…Completes her Trader Joes transaction, wondering if she should run back and get a pint of ice cream as a back-up supply. … Heaven forbid she ended up back in her apartment with NO ice cream because of some stupid storm.
…Waits inside Trader Joe’s lobby until golf-ball sized hail stops.
…Decides that being swept up in a tornado with a chocolate-y Blizzard would be so worth it. … Resists the urge to upgrade to an extra large, just in case it would be the last Blizzard.
Minnesota has so much more to offer than Jell-o salads and hot dishes!
Part III:
And finally, here's the true "Don't Cramp My Style" post.
I had the most lovely day today, fully embracing my independence. My day started with a free, 1 hour session of yoga in the park in the new neighborhood I "adopted" after discovering last weekend. The yoga instructor was excellent, the weather was coolish but sunny and MUCH improved from yesterday's cold and rain. It was a wonderful feeling to have the sun beating down on me as I did Sun Salutations!
The neighborhood was having a "festival" today, so afterwards I just walked around, exploring the festivities, smiling at all the cute kids and their families (and trying not to look too creepy smiling at the kids). I stumbled upon a library used book sale, where I found 2 novels and a "Fix it and Forget it" cookbook for $3!
After that, I went on a long, long walk through the neighborhoods, down to the beautiful Lake Harriet, and then to another little shopping district where I browsed through the Food Co-Op. I walked back down to the festival where I got a free 5 minute chair massage.
Next, I went to a local, homemade ice cream shop and treated myself to an indulgent, ultra-chocolate scoop of ice cream, which, of course, I got to eat outside in the sun/cool breeze.
I literally walked around the neighborhood with a smile on my face. It is such a beautiful day and it was so much fun exploring the neighborhood. This morning the yoga instructor made a comment about feeling the uneven-ness of the ground beneath our yoga mats and embracing this uneven-ness. She talked about how we are so used to expecting perfection of ourselves and in our lives, but that this "uneven-ness" (imperfection) in our own lives is what makes us appreciative and compassionate. I have been feeling very inadequate when it comes to work, which has caused me a lot of stress, anxiety, and frustration, so this really hit home for me. It's hard not knowing everything (or much of anything!), and it's hard accepting that that is okay. My goal in the coming weeks is to embrace my "uneven-ness" and focus on the positive aspects of experiencing those imperfections.
So there's my philosophical ending to this suuuuper long post. I am now going to walk BACK to Trader Joes (even though I was there an hour ago) because I forgot the lemon for my Banana Cake, whch I'm bringing to work tomorrow. Then maybe I'll go sit and read by the pool. Ahhhhh, weekends! :-)
Friday, April 22, 2011
Friday Song
This morning I woke up with a giddy "hangover" from a beautiful Blazer victory last night (which concluded far too late in the CST time zone for a work night). As I rolled out of bed, I was inspired to create a little Friday jingle.
From what I can remember, it went something like this...I believe to the tune of the song from Elf ("I'm siiiiinging. I'm in a mall, and I'm siiiinging!"):
Today is Friiiiiiday!
And it's Earth Daaaaay
So I can get free coffee at Staaaarbucks
And I think I'll get a mufffffin
Because today is Friiiiday
And after work I'm getting a faaaacial!
Happy Friday!
From what I can remember, it went something like this...I believe to the tune of the song from Elf ("I'm siiiiinging. I'm in a mall, and I'm siiiinging!"):
Today is Friiiiiiday!
And it's Earth Daaaaay
So I can get free coffee at Staaaarbucks
And I think I'll get a mufffffin
Because today is Friiiiday
And after work I'm getting a faaaacial!
Happy Friday!
Monday, April 18, 2011
Ode to Crisco
Oh, Crisco.
How I normally despise thee.
Greasy, fatty, flavorless.
One can't seem to scoop you out of a can without getting an oil-based hand treatment.
Yet so crucial to tender cut-out cookies (Butter just doesn't cut it. I tried).
Which leads me to a greater invention than sliced bread (like it was any competition. How can the "chore" of slicing a loaf of bread even compare to the mess of Crisco in the tub?!)
Thank you for bringing such a joy and simplicity to my life.
All hail the lard!
How I normally despise thee.
Greasy, fatty, flavorless.
One can't seem to scoop you out of a can without getting an oil-based hand treatment.
Yet so crucial to tender cut-out cookies (Butter just doesn't cut it. I tried).
Which leads me to a greater invention than sliced bread (like it was any competition. How can the "chore" of slicing a loaf of bread even compare to the mess of Crisco in the tub?!)
Thank you for bringing such a joy and simplicity to my life.
All hail the lard!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Infinity
For many, many years, my life has been divided into segments... (relatively) short periods of time that simply felt like segues to the next stage of my life. My junior year of high school, on my way to finally being a senior. My senior year of high school, biding my time until I could start college. First years of college, prerequisites (literally) to start the OT program. The OT program, the next step in finally pursuing my career. Fieldwork, more preparation before starting my career. My boards, another hoop (more like ring of fire) to jump through. Granted, I did my best to make the most of these experiences so this makes it sound worse than it actually was, but still. My life was full of transitions. For the first time in a long time, I feel like my life is fluid, not segmental. I have no end date in mind, no next stage I'm preparing for, no transition I'm anticipating. I just am. One day at a time. Content where I am. Might I just say it feels amazing!
The Blog, Revisited
With only moderate resolve, I've decided to dust off the old blog. If nothing else I had to update my profile in the blogging community, less someone stumble upon my page and think I was still a student (shudder!) and living in Duluth (brr!).
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Four Year Reflections
So many thoughts have been running through my head as this college/MN chapter of my life draws to a close. I thought I would post (one last?) blog entry in my "college blog."
Four years ago...
-My mom was just diagnosed with cancer and we were faced with so much uncertainty. Now she is back to work, full time, and is in great health. What a blessing, and what a journey that was! When I describe that journey to others, it still seems surreal. When people ask how I managed being so far away from home during all of that, I answer that I honestly don't know - you just do. I am occasionally jolted back to all of the emotions of that experience, like recently when I was treating a patient with cancer, or just Friday when I read about a M.M. diagnoses in a patient's chart. I suppose remembering or reliving those emotions from time to time just serves as a reminder of how fortunate we were/are!
-I moved half-way across the country, despite nearly everyone questioning my decision/sanity. I still have to justify my decision on a daily basis, but instead of being tainted by others' doubts, I can say I survived four years away from home and don't think Minnesota is all that bad!
-I had no idea of the challenges, joys, stress, friendships, hardships, and opportunities I would face during my time here in MN. I never would have anticipated planning an Autism camp, traveling to Florida (twice) for conferences, etc. I have certainly had my ups and downs (and I'm not just talking about unsuccessful attempts at gingerbread men), but all-in-all, I can say it's been a positive experience. I am certainly leaving MN a stronger person!
Not so long ago...
-I was terrified of the idea of completing my internship(s) and could not imagine myself functioning as an entry level practitioner. I distinctly remember sitting in our FW intro class last semester, feeling sick to my stomach at the thought of fieldwork. Now, I have a full caseload and am working 98% independently.bWhile it is still very challenging and I don't feel completely comfortable yet (ironically, i have a similarly-sick feeling today, anticipating my last week!), it feels great to have come this far and be doing what I was once (not so long ago!) so fearful of doing. My fieldwork site is very fast-paced, challenging, and not my ideal setting, so I am definitely counting down the days (5, FYI), but I can still appreciate the tremendous learning and growth I've experienced while there. I am grateful that my supervisor and I got along so well, and that I was able to work with a few patients that I know I will always remember!
In the future...
I have no idea. And for a planner like me, that's hard. Apparently it's hard for everyone else, as well, as they all want to know my plans. The next three months are devoted to completing my second fieldwork in Portland. One or two months after that will be devoted to studying for my boards (gulp), and hopefully passing those (insert nausea and hyperventilation). After that, everything is TBD. I still haven't determined my "niche" within the OT world, and have no idea where or what types of jobs will be available. I am in a both difficult and blessed situation -- I have a tremendous support network in two parts of the country, and it's gotten more and more difficult to distinguish which place is "home."
My dad and I will load the car (curious to see if four years of my life fit in my little Subaru) and drive across the country a week from tomorrow. I'll have 1800 miles to reflect on the past four-years! I'm not looking forward to the goodbyes I face in the next 7 days, but I suppose the uncertainty of my future might help what that, knowing that this is not necessarily the "end" of my time in MN. I will also have the reunion with friends and family (and notably, two adorable little nieces!) in WA to look forward to!
Four years ago...
-My mom was just diagnosed with cancer and we were faced with so much uncertainty. Now she is back to work, full time, and is in great health. What a blessing, and what a journey that was! When I describe that journey to others, it still seems surreal. When people ask how I managed being so far away from home during all of that, I answer that I honestly don't know - you just do. I am occasionally jolted back to all of the emotions of that experience, like recently when I was treating a patient with cancer, or just Friday when I read about a M.M. diagnoses in a patient's chart. I suppose remembering or reliving those emotions from time to time just serves as a reminder of how fortunate we were/are!
-I moved half-way across the country, despite nearly everyone questioning my decision/sanity. I still have to justify my decision on a daily basis, but instead of being tainted by others' doubts, I can say I survived four years away from home and don't think Minnesota is all that bad!
-I had no idea of the challenges, joys, stress, friendships, hardships, and opportunities I would face during my time here in MN. I never would have anticipated planning an Autism camp, traveling to Florida (twice) for conferences, etc. I have certainly had my ups and downs (and I'm not just talking about unsuccessful attempts at gingerbread men), but all-in-all, I can say it's been a positive experience. I am certainly leaving MN a stronger person!
Not so long ago...
-I was terrified of the idea of completing my internship(s) and could not imagine myself functioning as an entry level practitioner. I distinctly remember sitting in our FW intro class last semester, feeling sick to my stomach at the thought of fieldwork. Now, I have a full caseload and am working 98% independently.bWhile it is still very challenging and I don't feel completely comfortable yet (ironically, i have a similarly-sick feeling today, anticipating my last week!), it feels great to have come this far and be doing what I was once (not so long ago!) so fearful of doing. My fieldwork site is very fast-paced, challenging, and not my ideal setting, so I am definitely counting down the days (5, FYI), but I can still appreciate the tremendous learning and growth I've experienced while there. I am grateful that my supervisor and I got along so well, and that I was able to work with a few patients that I know I will always remember!
In the future...
I have no idea. And for a planner like me, that's hard. Apparently it's hard for everyone else, as well, as they all want to know my plans. The next three months are devoted to completing my second fieldwork in Portland. One or two months after that will be devoted to studying for my boards (gulp), and hopefully passing those (insert nausea and hyperventilation). After that, everything is TBD. I still haven't determined my "niche" within the OT world, and have no idea where or what types of jobs will be available. I am in a both difficult and blessed situation -- I have a tremendous support network in two parts of the country, and it's gotten more and more difficult to distinguish which place is "home."
My dad and I will load the car (curious to see if four years of my life fit in my little Subaru) and drive across the country a week from tomorrow. I'll have 1800 miles to reflect on the past four-years! I'm not looking forward to the goodbyes I face in the next 7 days, but I suppose the uncertainty of my future might help what that, knowing that this is not necessarily the "end" of my time in MN. I will also have the reunion with friends and family (and notably, two adorable little nieces!) in WA to look forward to!
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