Saturday, August 25, 2012

Thoughts from a Frantic Bride

Okay, so I'm not that frantic, but my mind, emotions, and (sometimes) body are definitely running in Turbo mode these days. 2 weeks to go! I'm super excited and mostly just looking forward to the big day. Fortunately, I haven't hit that "Let's just get this wedding over with!" attitude yet. As busy as things are, I am still enjoying taking care of the little wedding details. It would just be so much easier if that could be my 40-hour-a-week job!

An update on our lives, for those of you (makes sweeping gesture across audience) I have been delinquent in correspondance with:

*Kevin and I bought a house! It is in a Western suburb called Plymouth. It's a 3-bedroom, splint-level home built in 1973, with a new sunroom and mudroom addition. It is essentially move in ready, except for a growing list of projects we're coming up with. (By choice, not necessity). The most involved project will be gutting the kitchen and putting in our dream kitchen, stealing ideas from all the kitchens I've drooled over during our house search. As part of the counter-offering, we close on September 13th, the day after we return from our 3-night honeymoon. As romantic as moving that following weekend would have been (especially in the presence of parents, friends, etc.), we decided to postpone the big move until the following weekend. We might be crazy, but we're not that crazy.

*I found a sub-leaser for my apartment. They'll move in the end of September. This is a HUGE relief, as it will prevent us from having to pay a hefty penalty for breaking my lease. And prevent me from the guilt of breaking a "rule" (For shame, for shame!). I'm just not that kind of kid.

*Kevin's house is still for sale. Hutchinson is a charming little town if anyone is looking for a vacation home. 6-stall garage - the perfect man cave!

*Kevin is still looking for a job in the cities. He's had some interviews, but no word yet. Worst case scenario, he'll commute to Hutchinson - but a job's a job.

In the midst of a lot of uncertainty, we are trusting that all will unfold in due time, just as it's meant to be. Lately Kevin and I have been reflecting a lot (more than usual) on how far we've come in the last year. It's fun to exchange stories of last July and August, when the intrigue and attraction was far more mutual than either of us dared to think. Neither of us could have ever imagined things unfolding how they have, so who are we to try to imagine what the future holds?

I'm grateful to have a small group of family and friends from the PNW joining us at the wedding. I think it will be a wonderful, wonderful day, though we will certainly miss all of you who aren't able to make it.

Until Next Time,
Miss Jutila (but not for long)

Friday, July 6, 2012

Contrary to what you may think, I have not fallen off the face of the earth or chosen to "unplug." I haven't even fallen so ga-ga deep into love that I've cut all communication. Life has just been a whirlwhind.

Kevin and I get married 2 months from Sunday. I can't wait but am also embracing this engagement period. Lately I've been reflecting on how quickly each and every phase passes by -- for better or worse.

Here's the quick synoposis of Life of The Soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Lee.

Kevin is applying for jobs in the Twin Cities. His house is up for sale (a few showings, no bites). We have a realtor we're working with in Minneapolis and are looking at houses here. We went out and saw 13 houses last weekend and have a couple of houses we're interested in. Our realtor is a stud (Kevin knows I feel this way and is okay with it) and I'm confident he'll find us a great home. It's been a lot of fun, mixed with a little stress. We are so excited to start this next chapter together, and getting to talk about houses makes it all feel so much more real.

Wedding plans are "up to date" and we're kind of in a holding pattern until closer to the wedding. Although, I do keep having dreams where I just forget to do things, like forget to get my dress altered or forget to get my hair done. Or that one nightmare where I forgot to put fancy soaps in the church bathroom. The other night I dreamt that my bridal party sang and danced down the aisle to the tune of Meet the Flinstones, complete with chunky-bead necklaces just like Wilma (their idea, not mine).

This weekend Kevin and crew (family) are re-shingling his roof. It has been 90-100 degrees for the past week, so... Ish. As of 10pm last night, they were still hydrated, alive, and kicking... haven't gotten an update today so hope they're faring okay.

Kevin will be busy with that this weekend so I will be tapping into my Singledom days, which I'm actually looking forward to. I've done pretty well so far, including getting a massage and wandering around a few favorite stores. I have plans to get together with girlfriends throughout the weekend, have two baby shower cakes to bake on Sunday, etc.

It's going to be a different type of summer, sticking very close to home and without a lot of certain plans. My parents will be here in a couple of weeks, which I'm very much looking forward to, and I'll be making a short trip home in August.

So that's about it. Thanks for checking in!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Breakfast of the Month Club

No, I do not really participate in a Breakfast of the Month Club, but it does sound like a great idea.

This blog post is mostly to share my newfound love:



Bob's Red Mill Steel Cut oats, in the crockpot overnight. This is where magic happens.

When it came time to eat this stuff, I had to enforce some serious self-discipline and portion control. And we're talking oatmeal, not a pint of B&J or Salted Caramel Brownies (which are also delicious).


And they're so easy! All you do is:
-Fly to Portland, visit Bob's Red Mill factory, and purchase steel cut oats from bulk pins. Or go to your local supermarket.
-Put in 1 part oats to 4 cups liquid. I did water with a splash of skim milk)
-Add some salt, dump whatever spices strike your fancy (might I recommended cinnamon, vanilla, and fresh grated nutmeg?), add some sweetener (I did a splash of agave syrup which was more than enough)
-Plug in your crockpot (very critical), set it to low, and try to sleep.
-Suffer from insomnia at 5am, check on crockpot, stir, smell, and smile... try to fall back to sleep.

IMPORTANT: When eating, do not douse Steel Cut Oats in butter, brown sugar, raisins, or other distractors. I will allow you to add a splash of milk. But, at least for your first bite, taste it in all it's pure, healthful deliciousness.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

The Other Side of April

Well, the trip was a blast. We saw a lot of places from my childhood, ate a lot of good food, and (he) met a lot of important people. It meant so much to me to see him with my family. There was a moment where I was sandwiched between my Dad and Kevin on the couch and everything just felt right, being surrounded by the two most important guys in my (worldly) life.

Obviously, our relationship grew and deepened - how can it not on a trip like this?

A few highlights:

-Playing an old-school version of Wall Ball (The real version. Not the self-sacrificing version where you throw a ball at a human target) at my elementary school

-A mutual appreciation for exploring health food stores and Bob's Red Mill. I'm glad we can be whole-grain-dorks together.

-Chocolate Beet Cake (You rock, Afton!)

-Quotes from Hannah on Easter:
Hannah, whispering to me: "Senia, when did you get your boyfriend?"
Me: "Hmm, November?"
Hannah: "Oh. ... When did you name him Kevin?"

-Many episodes of hysterical laughter with my parents and family. He definitely has a better understanding of why I am the way I am! I am realizing more and more that I am certainly my Mother's daughter.

There were of course many, many other highlights, far too many to list.

One of the greatest parts is that we were able to be a "normal" couple for 5 days. We were able to escape our reality a little bit and just focus on the great relationship we have. There was a sense of anonymity, which was refreshing. When we ran into a family friend at the grocery store, I was able to happily introduce him as my boyfriend, without fear of them judging him, me, or us. There was no pity for him or surprise or bittersweet emotions.

But of course reality was waiting for us Tuesday evening. The last few days have been tough, but we've made it through so far. He has been tremendously supportive of me in the last few weeks, especially through emotional goodbyes and hard transitions.

And, so, on we go...

Monday, April 2, 2012

April update

You could get a completely different story depending on the time or day of this update. This is the more emotional version...

There's no way around it, my relationship with Kevin has been in the forefront of my life for the past 5 months, at least, and realistically, more like 7 or 8 months. But within that I continue to strive to find balance, which has included:

-A wonderful visit from Heather, who finally (!) made it to MN to visit me. Maybe there's hope for the rest of you! We had a great time relaxing, doing girl-y things, visiting my favorite hang outs, and chatting away. It was fun to finally host her here, as that's not something I've had the chance to do until now.

-I officially survived a year at Courage Center. There were a few moments on my 1-year Anniversary (and in subsequent days) where I thought I might just make it 364 days of employment, but I keep plugging along.

-I continue to be blessed with a great network of friends. The most "novel" friendship has been Christine, who lives one floor beneath me. The convenience of popping in and out, doing movie swaps, borrowing ingredients, etc. is something I haven't had before and am really appreciating. Plus, she is always good for a juicy dating story (which I can fully appreciate now that I'm on the "other side," at least for now!)

Kevin and I leave for Portland in 3 days... 72 hours to be exact. We are both so looking forward to the trip. These next 3 days could be long, though.

Amidst the excitement of this trip and a big step in our relationship (and undoubtedly an incredibly fun, full trip!) comes the sadness, anticipation, and reality of the 1 year Anniversary of Alison's death (April 13). While the reality of our relationship has never fully escaped me, I feel the sting of it more these days. I hurt for Kevin, I worry about what these milestones mean for us, I grieve for her friends and family. I try to be strong but this is a tough path we've found ourselves on. A path that has brought my tremendous joy and that I feel lucky to be on, but also a path that has a painful reality and that I sometimes wish was easier.

"Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical."

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

One of the things I love most about being with Kevin is that we have a blast doing normal, everyday things together. We cook (and clean up!) together, which is one of our favorite things to do. And we talk about vegetables... a lot.

While cooking is definitely Kevin's forte, I've been the designated baker. This last weekend, per his request, we made a cake together so I could teach him a thing or two about baking. Plus, we both happen to be quite fond of cake. Kevin claims he's had minimal baking success in the past, although I'm fairly sure he's just trying to boost my ego since he is already so good at everything else).


We agreed upon a Hummingbird Cake, which is said to be a cross between banana bread (minus the bread) and carrot cake (minus the cake).

If you bake a cake with an engineer, ... You will give him the grunt work, such as fitting the bottom of the cake pan with parchment paper.

He will take his assignment very seriously and decide he needs a tape measure:


After a tutorial and demonstration in layer one, Kevin braved the frosting for layer two (and did quite well!)



Tah dah!




Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Happiness

I've waited a long, long time to have a "real" Valentine's. It was worth the wait!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Quick Update

The weekend in Hibbing was great! Lots of emotions, Sunday especially (seeing Alison's family), but we made it through. Kevin was a stud (He has been granted blog-viewing privileges so now I really have to start hyping him up, should he ever decide to investigate my Secret Blogging Life) - he obviously took heed of the advice from the Beet Cake blogger. He gave me a tour of Hibbing (sort of like Washougal (?), but stretched out, and with a Wal-Mart), I got to see old photo albums, got to know the family, ate a lot of good food...

And the weekend was topped off with booking (2!) flights to Portland in April! :-)

Friday, February 3, 2012

Here We Are

January was a good month, but January also felt like a very long month. A lot happened in January, especially in terms of growth in my relationship with Kevin (is this the first time I've given him a name?). I've been staying up late(r) and putting more miles on my car. And I've never cleaned my bathroom so often.

I think my faithful blog readers all the know the whole story, so you'll understand when I say we have ours ups and downs. The ups are great, and the downs make us stronger.

I'm 1 week (and counting) without Facebook. Not momentous in the grand scheme of things, but it's been a refreshing change. And it just leaves me more time to navigate Pinterest, which is healthier for me right now. And to scheme... like where to go to dinner on Valentine's Day. (I'm looking forward to celebrating my first "real" Valentine's Day, and you better believe I am going to embrace it in all it's commercialism glory.)

This weekend is Meet the Parents. Kevin and I are road-tripping up to Hibbing tomorrow AM. I'm excited to make this trip with Kevin, nervous to meet his family, and still marveling at how we got "here." It will undoubtedly be hard, given the circumstances, but I'm hoping for the best. I'm packing my Big Girl Pants, going to look to that cute boy when I need some encouragement, and gonna make the best of it.
One of my best friends Pinned a recipe, thinking I would like it. Unbeknownst to her, the actual recipe source had a very timely blog entry:
http://joythebaker.com/2012/01/chocolate-beet-cake-with-beet-cream-cheese-frosting
(Sorry, couldn't hyperlink it for some reason).

Happy Super Bowl weekend!

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Change.

I've blogged several times about my 9 month transformation since I've been living in Minnesota. Change: I am living in Minnesota and not "going to school in Minnesota."

Being in Vancouver (which I do still call home) was great, and I was so thankful to have the opportunity to catch up with so many family and friends. I feel like I fit in as much as I could. It was a great week.

I was also excited to come back home to Minnesota. The transition was amazingly smooth.

Change has happened. When I go to Vancouver, I know I am visiting.

When I get back to Minnesota, I know I am home. For now.

Change is coming. I am excited to see what's in store for 2012 (and can't even venture a guess as to what that will look like).

Being in a relationship has taught me so much about myself. I have learned to open myself up to others, to expose my vulnerabilities, and to unleash my true thoughts, which I've had a tendency to let swirl around in my head to the point of driving myself crazy.

I have learned how much I value the insight of my friends and family.

I have learned that there are big things that will always be important and little things that I can let go.

I have learned that you can have layers upon layers of happiness. I was happy before, and am even happier now.

I have been reminded of how very, very fortunate I am. I have a Faith that will get me through anything. I have two homes. I have family (blood and "surrogate") in both of my homes. I have wonderful friends near and far. I have a long list of people who will sit and listen to hours-upon-hours of my gabbing. I have a great apartment and am employed. I have a boyfriend who makes me feel valued, interesting, and has added many layers of happiness.

If only time could just freeze for a minute...