April update

You could get a completely different story depending on the time or day of this update. This is the more emotional version...

There's no way around it, my relationship with Kevin has been in the forefront of my life for the past 5 months, at least, and realistically, more like 7 or 8 months. But within that I continue to strive to find balance, which has included:

-A wonderful visit from Heather, who finally (!) made it to MN to visit me. Maybe there's hope for the rest of you! We had a great time relaxing, doing girl-y things, visiting my favorite hang outs, and chatting away. It was fun to finally host her here, as that's not something I've had the chance to do until now.

-I officially survived a year at Courage Center. There were a few moments on my 1-year Anniversary (and in subsequent days) where I thought I might just make it 364 days of employment, but I keep plugging along.

-I continue to be blessed with a great network of friends. The most "novel" friendship has been Christine, who lives one floor beneath me. The convenience of popping in and out, doing movie swaps, borrowing ingredients, etc. is something I haven't had before and am really appreciating. Plus, she is always good for a juicy dating story (which I can fully appreciate now that I'm on the "other side," at least for now!)

Kevin and I leave for Portland in 3 days... 72 hours to be exact. We are both so looking forward to the trip. These next 3 days could be long, though.

Amidst the excitement of this trip and a big step in our relationship (and undoubtedly an incredibly fun, full trip!) comes the sadness, anticipation, and reality of the 1 year Anniversary of Alison's death (April 13). While the reality of our relationship has never fully escaped me, I feel the sting of it more these days. I hurt for Kevin, I worry about what these milestones mean for us, I grieve for her friends and family. I try to be strong but this is a tough path we've found ourselves on. A path that has brought my tremendous joy and that I feel lucky to be on, but also a path that has a painful reality and that I sometimes wish was easier.

"Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical."